Is it bad that I'm like... super excited that Richie is gonna stay over tomorrow... even though I know that it means nothing to him and everything to me?
I find myself taking any little bit of attention he shows me and basking in it... when I know that doing so is only going to hurt me in the long run when one day he decides to just stop doing it...
But then again I feel like this is only a temporary separation... and that one day everything is going to be right again...
Because he DID say it was supposed to be temporary...
But how long is temporary??? How long am I expected to wait for him to come to his senses? How long am I gonna still play the girlfriend and he still play the boyfriend role, minus the titles? Because that's what we're doing right now... It really feels like nothing has changed... except the kissing {because we already didn't have sex so nothing is missing in that department}. I swear, we do EVERYTHING we used to do while we were together except kiss... except that random one on Friday which ALMOST gave me hope, but then I asked him about it and was politely brought back down to Earth...
Idk. But he's coming and spending the night tomorrow so we'll see how that goes...
Taking it one day at a time because I definitely can't bear to have any more fantasies shattered into a million pieces...
[END]
Trying not to hyperventilate... just need to...
-Breathe easy-
I find myself taking any little bit of attention he shows me and basking in it... when I know that doing so is only going to hurt me in the long run when one day he decides to just stop doing it...
But then again I feel like this is only a temporary separation... and that one day everything is going to be right again...
Because he DID say it was supposed to be temporary...
But how long is temporary??? How long am I expected to wait for him to come to his senses? How long am I gonna still play the girlfriend and he still play the boyfriend role, minus the titles? Because that's what we're doing right now... It really feels like nothing has changed... except the kissing {because we already didn't have sex so nothing is missing in that department}. I swear, we do EVERYTHING we used to do while we were together except kiss... except that random one on Friday which ALMOST gave me hope, but then I asked him about it and was politely brought back down to Earth...
Idk. But he's coming and spending the night tomorrow so we'll see how that goes...
Taking it one day at a time because I definitely can't bear to have any more fantasies shattered into a million pieces...
[END]
Trying not to hyperventilate... just need to...
-Breathe easy-
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1 comment:
Since you write that it feels like nothing has changed I insist that you take it as it comes, and enjoy yourself.
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