Gotta Live For Me! {a story}

Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl was a "people pleaser" personality. She was always striving to help people and to make everyone else happy. She always put everyone else's wants and needs before her own. She also had trouble telling people no. Eventually she stopped genuinely liking to help people, yet she continued to do it because it was all she knew. Well, one ordinary day she met a very special boy, and they both inadvertently changed each other's ways of thinking. The girl and her boy friend grew into a woman and a man... the girl, now a woman, still could not help but to help people, and it was starting to become her downfall, because it seemed that everytime she succeeded in making one person happy, there was someone else who was unhappy, and when she tried to make that person happy someone else was unhappy. The cycle just continued, and it eventually made the woman unhappy... She had this dilemma for quite some time, until one day, she had enough.

"I've come to realize that it is impossible to please everyone all the time. It's wearing me down to try. I can't go on like this. I've got to live for me!"

[END]

-Mizz Underztood, still on the search for clarity-

Random Bedtime Thoughts. 4-25-09, 3:11a

Random @Bedtime Thoughts {in no particular order}

-That dude + His nonsense = NOT COOL.

-How random of my ex from 7th grade to randomly start FB chatting it up with me and then make an ePass at me... Lol.

-Something about this dude intrigues me... And its funny because I know unless significant changes occcur in my life, NOTHING is gonna come of it, but still... Is it bad to wonder?

-Today had the potential to be VERY suckie... Glad that it didn't continue down the path to suckieville... *wipes sweat from forehead*

-Speaking of sweat... It was hot as the devil's oven out this ho today! *smdh at the madness*

-When will I stop going through these loop-de-loops? You would think they'd have stopped by now, but ALAS, they're still here. Lol.

-Why am I starting to write again now, after having writer's block for so long? Tis strange, indeed... I must be feeling some kinda way about something... What that something is, I have NO CLUE as yet but I suppose it will reeal itself in due time...

-Twitter is the devil... I am 98% sure of it.

-And if Soulja Boy twitters the same thing over and over again one more time... I'm gonna cock back my eGat and shoot his ass... that is ALL.

-Effin Soulja Boy... *grumble* That n*@#! making me reconsider my unconditional love for him, shoot... *end grumble*

[END]

-Mizz Underztood, still on the search for clarity-

Wants VS Needs

Until my mind grew up, I used to often confuse wants with needs…
I’d say things like...

I need a man
And he needs to be tall
And he needs to be rich
And he needs to be handsome
And he needs to have his own place
And he needs to be doing something with his life
He needs to be funny
And he needs to be highly intelligent
And he needs to be caring and compassionate
And he needs to know exactly what I need him to do without me having to tell him.

Then my mind starting growing up…
And I realized a few things…
I didn’t NEED any of these things
I WANTED a man,
A tall,
Rich,
Handsome man,
A man with his own place,
Who was going somewhere in life
A funny,
Highly intelligent,
Caring and compassionate,
Damn near psychic man.

I also realized that maybe,
JUST maybe…
He didn’t have to be tall… Medium height could suffice…
He didn’t have to be rich… Just financially stable
He didn’t have to be handsome… Just as long as he was decent looking and kept himself up
He didn’t have to have his own place, as long as he wasn’t planning on living with his parents FOREVER
He DID, however, have to be doing something with his life, though…
Because I can’t stand people who are comfortable living off of others… But I digress.
He didn’t have to be outrageously funny, just as long as something about his personality was interesting enough to keep my attention
He didn’t have to be highly intelligent, just as long as I didn’t constantly debate within myself whether he or butter had the higher IQ
He didn’t have to be the most caring, compassionate man in the world, as long as I could tell that he did have emotions and wasn’t hardened to life
And he DEFINITELY didn’t have to be psychic, because I know that is unreasonable, and seeing as I pride myself in being a grown woman, I also know that grown women don’t EXPECT people to know what they are thinking, but EXPRESS THEMSELVES so as to make it abundantly clear.

And I’m glad I realized that all of these are wants, because I now can see past the wants, to figure out the needs….
For instance, I now know that I NEED to work on aspects of myself to become a better me
Because without me being the best ME I can be, who am I to want so much of someone else?

[END]

-Mizz Underztood, still on the search for clarity-

Spring Break in Cali -hella late lol-

So.

For Spring break, I went out to San Diego, California to visit my friends Dorian and Nile... We took pictures, yes we did :) So... here are some of the highlights, and you can view the rest of the beach pics here.

Had fun, even though there was drama going on back home, lol.

Tis my beautiful face :) In the car on the way... somewhere, lol.

Me, Dorian, Nile, Greg, two of Greg's friends, and a bazillion of Dorian & Greg's cousins. {Greg & dorian are brothers}

Me being cute on the miniscule beach towel lol

Stepping into the water... Twas cold {the water}, but I still liked it lol

This looks cuter than it really was, lol. I was pulling Dorian into the ocean... he's terrified of the ocean. How you join the Navy, being terrified of the ocean, is beyond me lol.

Being cute once again, posing on the big rock at the edge of the beach.

Me posing {are you seeing a trend? Lol} with Nile's nutty self in my background... didn't realize he was in the pic, til after it was taken, lol.

So you've seen the highlights, now go look at the facebook album!


[END]

-Mizz Underztood, still on the search for clarity-

Bad Blogger -sigh-

Yes, I know... Y'all haven't caught hide nor hair of me in months.
Yes, I know... I promised not ONE, not TWO, but THREE new blogs.
Yes, I know... I've been a bad blogger.

BUT... There are reasons, as there always are...

1. I was still suffering from that dreaded writers' block.
2. Once I got over said case of writers' block, I had 6.5 consecutive weeks which absolutely were NOT conducive to blogging:
.....a week in which we were preparing for DRIVEN week
.....a week which was DRIVEN week
.....midterms week
.....spring break {photo blog coming up next!}
.....a very suckie week in which I was completely sick {a bad case of food poisoning, immediately followed by a stomach virus} AND chipped a tooth AND lost my phone.
.....at the very end of the suckie week, my daddy died, which added another week and a half of terribleness to my life.
3. Ever since I came back to ATL from CT following my daddy's funeral, I've been playing catch-up in school, and looking for an apartment, since I didn't get the job @ Disney World that I applied for {more suckieness, I've been having a horrific month and a half}.

However... ALAS, here I am, and I think I've found a solution to my blogging problem {at least I can figure that out cuz I sure can't figure anything else out -sigh-}.

I need to put myself on a blogging schedule... aka, pick specific day(s) of the week when I absolutely MUST blog... because if I don't, I won't.

SooOo... expect a blog from me on Sundays, and possibly random ones throughout the week. But Sunday is my fixed blogging day... and if I find myself writing more than one blog a week I will add another fixed blogging day, lol. Dunno if that's gonna happen anytime soon, but we'll see.

So yeah, I will have an absolutely wonderful outstanding marvelous blog for you guys on Sunday... and today, you'll have THIS blog and a photo blog of my spring break... Not the complete spring break because most of my pictures were taken on my cell phone, which is gone -sad face- BUT a few survived, lol.

[END]

-Mizz Underztood, still on the search for clarity-