Okay... I just read Rant #1 and realized JUST how pathetic I sounded... Especially since a lot of my problems have been resolved (or something close to it) in just... 2 weeks lol. Honestly, sometimes you have to step back from your problems when they seem overwhelming, just so you can see how TRIVIAL some of this stuff is... seriously.
For instance, this whole "I hate my job" thing I've been on ever since May... Yes, Walmart is hell. Yes, it has been taking up all my free time since I came home. Yes, I wish I had a more fun/ exciting/easy/(insert positive adjective here) job. But on the other hand, I could be one of the many many people searching for a job that can't seem to find one, no matter what they do. I could be sitting idle, doing nothing and making no money... And money is what I absolutely MUST have... I came home with a broken phone, now I have a brand new phone (even though the screen is broken but that's another story--- and EASILY fixable). I haven't had to ask anyone for anything all summer, and that feels great... Because I'm really not comfortable with doing that for the most part.
On to school... The whole reason why I wasn't sure if I was going back, is because I wasn't sure how I would pay for it. Most of the people in my family have less-than-stellar credit... and I had none whatsoever until I got my credit card recently. So that doesn't even count yet, lol. But anyway, without someone with banging credit to co-sign my loans... I don't get a loan. Plain and simple. I get NO government financial aid, thanks to my stepfather and his huge income... NONE of which benefits me in the least because not only does he not do a DAMN thing for me, but I don't even live with him and my mother anymore... Sucks that I have to put them on my FAFSA but those are the rules. So... I'm forced to take out loans, and the ONLY person that can co-sign is... my grandmother... who is NOT pleased with my performance in my first year. She's been putting it off and putting it off, making me jump through hoops ALL summer... But she finally co-signed for me, HALLELUJAH. So there goes that problem, lol :)
My aunt hassling me isn't even an issue... because that's her job. I've come to realize that she only does it because she's not ready for me to grow up and leave the nest, have my own life, etc. She always has seen me as her little baby, and it's taking her a while to adjust to the fact that I'm becoming a woman and starting to do my own thing instead of running to her every second of the day. But... such is life, I'm just going to grin and bear it though it annoys me to no end when she insists that I check in with her (not often but enough to irritate me).
"I have HELLA bills to pay that I'm not sure where I'm gonna get the money from." Well, I still have bills that I have to pay... however, I've come to realize that the reason I struggle with those is because I have a spending problem. I buy the most random/unnecessary stuff when I first get paid, and then wonder where all my money's gone. I realize that when I get paid a week from now, my WHOLE paycheck is going towards paying off my credit card bill. Anything left over will be for me. If there's nothing left over... tough cookies, because I shouldn't have decided to spend up all my money before and should have paid off that damned credit card earlier in the game. It's time to woman up and get it together, because I refuse to go to my aunt/ grandmother/etc to fix this lil credit card bill problem.
Now, about these females who want to fight me, don't like me, etc. All of them can go straight to hell in a handbasket... because I truly haven't done anything to any of them. THEY are the aggressors, and it baffles me why I'm always a target... I always get caught up in other people's nonsense, whether it be from my cousin arguing with my best friend and me getting caught in between OR from a girl who is hellbent on driving from another state to come fight me because she thinks her boyfriend broke up with her for me--- which he didn't. He broke up with her because she is PSYCHO, but because she saw comments from me on his page (MySpace) she assumed that it was because he was trying to be with me. I decided that I'm not going to deal with the nonsense, ESPECIALLY since I will be leaving this hellhole in 17 days... honestly what's the point of the drama? PLEASE save it for your mama and leave me be!
Speaking of the girl that wants to fight me over this boy... What's up with that? Why do females want to fight the other woman in situations like that? Why don't they go after the man? Honestly, the other female isn't the one betraying you. She's not the one that's supposed to treat you right and be faithful to you. The man that's allowing this female to get all up in his space is the one that's in the wrong... Take it up with him, because half the time, the other woman doesn't even know about YOU until it's too late. That stuff amazes me. If ever oh ever my boyfriend does some crazy mess, I'm going after HIM, not the female, because he's the one I'm in a relationship with, not her.
But, I digress, lol... I have a tendency to go off on a tangent, please bear with me.
So... I had all these problems, now I'm either (a) rid of them, (b) nearly rid of them, or (c) able to move forward despite them... I'm feeling really really UP right now :) PLUS my bestie is back in town, and I'm planning on getting together with her tonight after not seeing her since April... We're going to play video games, giggle and just be generally silly. We have a tendency to do this... I love that girl, she's like the slight ditzy totally crazy big sister I never had, lol...
Speaking of her, she just called me so I must go :) Later, loves!
-Breathe easy-
For instance, this whole "I hate my job" thing I've been on ever since May... Yes, Walmart is hell. Yes, it has been taking up all my free time since I came home. Yes, I wish I had a more fun/ exciting/easy/(insert positive adjective here) job. But on the other hand, I could be one of the many many people searching for a job that can't seem to find one, no matter what they do. I could be sitting idle, doing nothing and making no money... And money is what I absolutely MUST have... I came home with a broken phone, now I have a brand new phone (even though the screen is broken but that's another story--- and EASILY fixable). I haven't had to ask anyone for anything all summer, and that feels great... Because I'm really not comfortable with doing that for the most part.
On to school... The whole reason why I wasn't sure if I was going back, is because I wasn't sure how I would pay for it. Most of the people in my family have less-than-stellar credit... and I had none whatsoever until I got my credit card recently. So that doesn't even count yet, lol. But anyway, without someone with banging credit to co-sign my loans... I don't get a loan. Plain and simple. I get NO government financial aid, thanks to my stepfather and his huge income... NONE of which benefits me in the least because not only does he not do a DAMN thing for me, but I don't even live with him and my mother anymore... Sucks that I have to put them on my FAFSA but those are the rules. So... I'm forced to take out loans, and the ONLY person that can co-sign is... my grandmother... who is NOT pleased with my performance in my first year. She's been putting it off and putting it off, making me jump through hoops ALL summer... But she finally co-signed for me, HALLELUJAH. So there goes that problem, lol :)
My aunt hassling me isn't even an issue... because that's her job. I've come to realize that she only does it because she's not ready for me to grow up and leave the nest, have my own life, etc. She always has seen me as her little baby, and it's taking her a while to adjust to the fact that I'm becoming a woman and starting to do my own thing instead of running to her every second of the day. But... such is life, I'm just going to grin and bear it though it annoys me to no end when she insists that I check in with her (not often but enough to irritate me).
"I have HELLA bills to pay that I'm not sure where I'm gonna get the money from." Well, I still have bills that I have to pay... however, I've come to realize that the reason I struggle with those is because I have a spending problem. I buy the most random/unnecessary stuff when I first get paid, and then wonder where all my money's gone. I realize that when I get paid a week from now, my WHOLE paycheck is going towards paying off my credit card bill. Anything left over will be for me. If there's nothing left over... tough cookies, because I shouldn't have decided to spend up all my money before and should have paid off that damned credit card earlier in the game. It's time to woman up and get it together, because I refuse to go to my aunt/ grandmother/etc to fix this lil credit card bill problem.
Now, about these females who want to fight me, don't like me, etc. All of them can go straight to hell in a handbasket... because I truly haven't done anything to any of them. THEY are the aggressors, and it baffles me why I'm always a target... I always get caught up in other people's nonsense, whether it be from my cousin arguing with my best friend and me getting caught in between OR from a girl who is hellbent on driving from another state to come fight me because she thinks her boyfriend broke up with her for me--- which he didn't. He broke up with her because she is PSYCHO, but because she saw comments from me on his page (MySpace) she assumed that it was because he was trying to be with me. I decided that I'm not going to deal with the nonsense, ESPECIALLY since I will be leaving this hellhole in 17 days... honestly what's the point of the drama? PLEASE save it for your mama and leave me be!
Speaking of the girl that wants to fight me over this boy... What's up with that? Why do females want to fight the other woman in situations like that? Why don't they go after the man? Honestly, the other female isn't the one betraying you. She's not the one that's supposed to treat you right and be faithful to you. The man that's allowing this female to get all up in his space is the one that's in the wrong... Take it up with him, because half the time, the other woman doesn't even know about YOU until it's too late. That stuff amazes me. If ever oh ever my boyfriend does some crazy mess, I'm going after HIM, not the female, because he's the one I'm in a relationship with, not her.
But, I digress, lol... I have a tendency to go off on a tangent, please bear with me.
So... I had all these problems, now I'm either (a) rid of them, (b) nearly rid of them, or (c) able to move forward despite them... I'm feeling really really UP right now :) PLUS my bestie is back in town, and I'm planning on getting together with her tonight after not seeing her since April... We're going to play video games, giggle and just be generally silly. We have a tendency to do this... I love that girl, she's like the slight ditzy totally crazy big sister I never had, lol...
Speaking of her, she just called me so I must go :) Later, loves!
-Breathe easy-
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