Conversations Shall Be Banned! Lol

My friends and I have a bunch of random conversations... and a LOT of them end up producing something quote-worthy, lol. I loves my crazies ♥

Cristen:

Cristen: It's weird... It's like I can hear you in my brain when I put you in my mouth...
Jazzmin: Uhhhh... I'm not sure I'm comfortable with how that sounds!

Jazzmin: Umm, what should I say to someone who said they want me for their birthday?
Cristen: Uhh, ask them... with whip cream, or honey?
Jazzmin: -long silence- Ur a bad influence on my decisions...

"Religion is when you talk to God... Schizophrenia is when he talks back to you!"

Cristen: I need to be at one of these things... no cuz I'd end up hurting someone's feelings and then I'd fe--- No I wouldn't... I wouldn't feel bad.
Jazzmin: -laughs- mmm... Me and you are similar... we don't like ppl touching us... well, random ppl
Cristen: I like random BOYS touching me...
-awkward silence-
Jazzmin: You whore! -cracks up laughing-

"Maybe her God antenna is broken..."

"Freaks & geeks, freaks & geeks!!!"

Cristen: Where are you writing this down?
Jazzmin: In a notebook...
Cristen: Kkz...
-5 minutes later-
Cristen: Wait... what kinda note?
Jazzmin: What?
Cristen: What kinda note are you writing? Like... a Facebook note?
Jazzmin: -sigh- I said notebook... NoteBOOK not NOTE! Slowness...

"This is how havin a baby feels... Everything stretches outta place... then it burns.... then you get used to it. Then it starts all over when you get to the next lump!" --- On pooping (LMAO)

Cristen (on the toilet): I feel like I'm having a baby!!
Jazzmin: Outta your BUTT?!?!
Cristen: Yes!!!!
Jazzmin: Uh.... (Cracks up laughing) Sorry... I really didn't mean to laugh at that one...

"Hey I had a baby outta my butt... Does that mean I had a Jesus poop? No wait, I mean, a Jesus baby--turd---thing... ?"

Jazzmin: Crissy sing to me!
Cristen: A B C D E F G H I J K ...
Jazzmin: Why, Cristen, Why??
Cristen: You said sing to me...

Jazzmin: (singing) I need love...
Cristen: (singing) If it's lovin that you want... nvm
Jazzmin: What? Why'd you stop?
Cristen: Cuz, it's the song.. "If it's lovin that you want you should make me your girl, If it's lovin that you need, baby come share my world"
Jazzmin: Gay! You're so homo!
Cristen:THAT'S WHY I SAID NVM

RaShaun:

(on the Atlantic Station shuttle)
Jazzmin: -laughs- I'm a sicko... but you love me though! So it's okay!
RaShaun: It's like a disease... it just won't go away.
Jazzmin: -laughs- Sorry, I can't help it if I'm loveable!
RaShaun: You gave me STL...
Jazzmin: -thinks-
Both: Sexually transmitted love! -laughs-

Jazzmin: "I'ma need them to stop kissin"
RaShaun: "I know you not talkin with all them pics of you and this dude hugged up."
Jazzmin: "Her cousin though?!?!"
RaShaun: "I thought u were talkin about her and her girlfriend... cuz u definitely be all hugged up with your boyfriend."
Jazzmin: "SoooOo we don't be kissin!"
RaShaun: "Maybe not in the pictures, but..."
Jazzmin: "Nope we don't kiss, we just hug and hold hands."
RaShaun: "................Pleeeease tell me you're lying "
Jazzmin: (laughs) "I'm just joking" (laughs some more)
RaShaun: "I was gonna say... this dude must think he's Jesus"
Jazzmin: (cracks up laughing)

Dorian:

(a random AIM convo)
Dorian (5:08:51 AM): i'm goin to the studio, i making a cd
Jazzmin (5:09:06 AM): uh... huh...
Dorian (5:09:30 AM): geez... im mad u dont believe me, wat if i was tellin the truth
Jazzmin (5:10:07 AM): lol
Dorian (5:11:30 AM): one day i will... i want groupies
Jazzmin (5:11:39 AM): -rolls eyes-
Jazzmin (5:11:45 AM): have fun with that
Jazzmin (5:11:51 AM): (the groupies)
Dorian (5:12:24 AM): ugk, ur not supposed to say that. ur supposed to tell me hell no, i will castrate u... ur not being wife material
Jazzmin (5:12:38 AM): lol i loooooooove u
Jazzmin (5:12:56 AM): this is goin on my facebook quotes btw
Dorian (5:13:11 AM): lmao...
Dorian (5:14:33 AM): yea tell the world ur not wife material
Jazzmin (5:16:59 AM): iont care loser
Jazzmin (5:17:12 AM): lol

Harold:

Jazzmin: You are a mess!
Harold: And you are a broom... come clean me up!

"Anonymous Guy":

Jazzmin: For some reason, I'm droolin right now
Anonymous Guy: It's because you're thinking the same thing that I'm thinking
Jazzmin: (thoughtfully) No....... actually, I think it's because that was a bangin ass popsicle
Anonymous Guy: That's goin on MY facebook notes... NO, actually it's not cuz it's embarassing...

Jermaine:

Jermaine: Yeah I know your boyfriend, his major is something with an -ology in it...
Jazzmin: Umm... his major is philosophy
Jermaine: Yeah! That one
Jazzmin: (looks at him like he's retarded)
RaShaun: (walks away down the Promenade)

Melissa:

Jazzmin: Am I the one?
Melissa: NO
Jazzmin: Am I the two?
Melissa: NO
Jazzmin: Do I play with anybody's kids?
Melissa: NO
Jazzmin: Okay I didn’t think so... just checkin.
Melissa: -laughs-

Boys in car: -Stops driving- Y'all going to the river by yourselves?
Jazzmin: -Looks at them then keeps walking-
Boy driving car: -Shakes head and starts to drive away-
Melissa: -To boys- Why, you wanna come?
Jazzmin: -Looking horrified- Omgsh! Come on, Mish! -Grabs Melissa and drags her toward the river-
Melissa: -Cracks up laughing-

Jazzmin: Melissa who are you BOOOO LOVING....
Melissa: What?
Jazzmin: (singing) BOO LOVING... BOO LOVING... Melissa is BOO LOVING
Melissa: Noooo nobody's Boo loving...lol

Jazzmin: (typing and talking simultaneously) Violence is not the answer... (stops typing) Right Melissa?
Melissa: Yes... the answer is always YES!

Sama:

Jazzmin: Ummm... Why did she say I love you too when I didn't say I love you first?
Sama: I woulda been like "Excuse me, in order to be a love TOO, there has to have been a love ONE"...
Jazzmin: I am SO putting that on Facebook (laughs)

Jami:

Jazzmin (In the rain): Damn we look like a coupla bamas wit our pants rolled up like this!
Jami: Yeah... I feel like a soggy ass cookie!

(Random AIM convo)
Jami: :-(
Jazzmin: Shush... that sad face upsets me
Jami: Y does it upset u?
Jazzmin: Cuz I like rainbows and sunshine and happy things, gosh
Jami: Lol shut up u fuckin care bear

"Awwwwwwhhhh there's cream inside!!!" --- After eating my orange cupcakes

Carlton:

"I'd hate to wake up on a hook. It's like wakin' up with your phone dead... You just feel bad!" --- While watchin' Texas Chainsaw Massacre w/ me and Sama and Branden in Branden's room

Me:

"After that (points in Brit's general direction), I'm gonna need something to wash the fishy taste outta my mou--- (slaps self on forehead)"--- After eating tuna fish on crackers in Brit's room

"The only way to stay sane in this world is to act crazy..." --- to Nicky

"Everything happens for a reason... Some reasons are just a lil harder to find!"

"How could I be so wrong?"

"Never in life... !!!"

"NEVER AGAIN!!!"

"My foot TODATASS!"

Amber:

"Jazzmin why is u stomp'n & bebop'n around?"--- When I was goin off about some dude trying me.

Brittany:

Brittany: ... then you can be his Butta Biscuit AND his sausage.
Jazzmin: Why would I want to be a sausage?
Brittany: Men like pork.
Jazzmin: -Blank look-
Brittany: Men like pork... Sausage is pork... So you wanna be sausage so he'll like you even more!

Monjui:

"I need to go lift... so I can tame that lion of yours!"

[END]

Laughing so hard at these 'tards makes it a bit difficult to...
-Breathe easy-

A & B Conversation!

A&B conversation -

I've come to the conclusion that my best friend and I shouldn't be allowed to talk to each other anymore because we have crazy conversations like the one you are about to read. I'll let y'all imaginations decide who was A & who was B. LOL =)

A - ::singing:: Just keep swimmin, just keep swimmin...
B - Who? The spermies?
A - Whaaaat?
B - The spermies... swimmin in your stomach...
A - Noooo... if they got to my stomach, they wouldn't be swimming, they'd be dead
B - Ohhhh yeah, the acid in there would kill them...
A - Yeah, and they'd be brain damaged!
B - ...................... What?
A - They'd. Be. Brain damaged...
B - BRAIN DAMAGED SPERM????
A - Yeah... isn't the round part the brain?
B - OH MY G--... be quiet, you're no longer allowed to talk.
A - WHYYYYYY?
B - Because once you start talkin about brain damaged sperm, your talking privileges are revoked...
A - That's grossly unfair!
B - Yeah, well... you're just gross...
A - You're the one talkin about me swallowing sperm!
B - Would you rather I talk about you spitting it out?
A - No that's wasteful...
B - OH MY G--!!!! Be quiet, I need time to think about this...
A - But---
B - Uh uh, shhh no talking!
A - But, its---
B - HUSH, seriously!
A - It IS wasteful... waste not, want not!
B -Oh. My. G--. Absolutely disgusting! This is why you're not allowed to talk...
A - Swallowing is good for you... like breastfeeding..
B - Excuse me??? Wait, gimme a second ::hits record button on cell phone:: Okay, proceed with this explanation...
A - Okay, they said when you breastfeed babies, it's... you're giving the babies your anti---- oxidants??? Or whatever, so that they'll be safe from things that you've gone through. Well the same thing is in the sperm!
B - ::sigh::
A - So if he had the flu you'd get his flu-fighting thing...... in the sperm
B - Oh. My. G--.
A - It's healthy!
B - You are retarded...
A - ::laughs:: but {insert B's real name}, it makes sen---
B - No.
A - Hmmmm...
B - This is unacceptable!
A - A cup of sperm a day keeps the doctor away!
B - I'm appalled at your behavior.
A - A cup of sperm a day keeps the doctor away...
B - Mkay..............
A - ::laughs::
B - YOU live by that rule. I think I'LL just go to the doctor...
A - ::laughs::
B - That's what I think.
A - ::laughs:: Well, maybe once a week...
B - No, that's okay...
A - ::sounds hurt:: W-why?
B - ....Anyway, I'm not allowed to, remember?
A - ::mumbles:: we'll be sickly...
B - What???
A - We're just gonna be a little sickly this year!
B - ::sigh:: I hate youuuuu...
A - ::laughs:: What's wrong {insert B's real name}? ::pause:: AND it has vitamins...
B - What?!?!
A - And it has vitamins ... and it cleans your teeth. What more can you ask for?
B - Oh. My. Gosh.
A - Vitamins, it fights colds, AND it cleans your teeth ::pause, then incredulously:: You know how much that would cost in a store???
B - ::cracks up::
A - ::joins in::

Btw... I have this in audio (from where it says, "hits record button" so if you would like to hear it, let me know LOL [Cristen's gonna kill me one day I swear] -smiles-)

[END]

Til the next time...
-Breathe Easy-

New Posts Up Soon!

Sooo, I know I've been slacking. Forgive me. I've had a severe case of writer's block (so no new thoughtful/insightful blogs) AND I was in Connecticut for three weeks... which means nothing interesting was happening in real life... -sigh-

However I'm back home in Atlanta, where I get interesting stories and my brain actually works (I swear the air in Connecticut kills my brain cells, lol). Since coming back, I've had some fun, AND my writer's block seems to have lifted, because I came up with some topics for a few posts that are actually NOT specifically about my life...

With that said, expect 3 posts in the near future (before the end of this week). One shall be an update, and two are more some list-like thingies (wow, so articulate, right? lol). But of course, I cannot write a list without explaining my points, right? You know, seeing as I tend to get very severe cases of verbal diarrhea... LOL I think it's starting now. So before I go off on a tangent...

Three Upcoming Posts (might not be in this order, either):
1. An update post
2. "Things We SHOULD'VE Learned Long Ago"
3. "Things That Women Want Men to Know"

By the way, it's a new year, so I'm gonna need a new signature... I've been breathing easier for a little while now, so I'm starting to feel that "Breathe Easy" is getting redundant lol... gotta think on that one. Also kinda need a new look for my blog -sigh- it bores me, and it's MINE, so I shudder to think of what other people think of the layout, lol. Any suggestions?

Later loves!

[END]

Getting tired of seeing the words...
-Breathe easy-