So...

It seems like I've lost my best friend... and I really do not understand what happened. I mean, yeah we fuss every now and then, but I didn't really think our last episode of "fussing" was that serious... maybe I was wrong? And this whole thing on my note... doesn't really explain what the problem is either. I'm confused as all get out.

::ETA (10:45 PM):: Yeah so this whole note thing is getting out of hand... and she's basically over there threatening to say things to my boyfriend that a best friend wouldn't say... for what reason?

::ETA (8/13/08, 11:02 PM):: So I wake up to a note about how I've admitted to cheating on every significant other I've had (which is one of her favorite things to say and is NOT true because I haven't and me and her have had this conversation before)... But anyway I'm gonna quote what she said:

-- No, if you admit to cheating on every significant other you've had, constantly LIE about the type of person you are, and generally act like a fake ass.. you have absolutely NO room to say anything about what I do/say.. When I was where you are now, I had let that CHILDISH bs behind.. If you're not ready for a relationship you're not ready for a fcking relationship.. but there is nothing grown about claiming to love one dude (that you're in a relationship with) why being in a "relationship" with otherS.. grow up, or shut up

-- STILL struggling with this now, some people have NO idea how badly I just want to put their "stuff" out there.. isht, you did it to me.. after haggling to get access to what I let no one else see you're just going to put it out there like that?? o.k.a.y

Like I said, I never admitted to anything of the sort, but whatever... I lie about the type of person I am? I act like a fake ass? How??? And when did I ever say anything about anything that she does or says that ties in to that? And she needs to go somewhere with that statement about "nothing grown" b/c grown people can understand where the issue may lie, I have definitely seen what the problem is and I'm trying to make moves to fix it, and I'm pretty fuckin sure she knows that since it's written all in one of my blogs... But clearly she wants to be an asshole and try to call someone out... what the fuck ever.

And this whole, struggling not to air my business out... Why? There's no reason for her to want to do something like that... And I really REALLY don't understand how she figures that I put her business out there... because I didn't... didn't put the URL anywhere, didn't even say to anyone that the girl even HAD a blogspot account, so wtf is she talking about?

I don't see what I did that could possibly make this girl hate me so much in such a short amount of time! Or maybe it's not a short amount of time. Maybe she's hated me for a long time, but I was too blind to see it... I don't know... All I know is, I feel more alone than I've felt in a long time. The one person I thought understood me for the most part, the person I thought I could tell ANYTHING to and get good feedback, the girl I love like a sister... is treating me so bad... and I really don't get it... at all. It hurts my heart to know that the last one I thought would desert me, is the one that's gonna do it.

-Breathe easy-

Misplaced Anger in Instances of Infidelity

Okay... In my last blog, I got a little bit sidetracked at one point... When I was talking about the girl who wanted to fight me because her boyfriend left her, supposedly for me, but in reality because she is "psycho" (his words). My digression was about why girls go after the "other woman" instead of the guy that did the dirt:

"Speaking of the girl that wants to fight me over this boy... What's up with that? Why do females want to fight the other woman in situations like that? Why don't they go after the man? Honestly, the other female isn't the one betraying you. She's not the one that's supposed to treat you right and be faithful to you. The man that's allowing this female to get all up in his space is the one that's in the wrong... Take it up with him, because half the time, the other woman doesn't even know about YOU until it's too late. That stuff amazes me. If ever oh ever my boyfriend does some crazy mess, I'm going after HIM, not the female, because he's the one I'm in a relationship with, not her." - "Looking Up", July 31, 2008

This kind of thing happens a lot. We see it in movies, on television, hear it in songs, read about it in books, blogs, poetry, et cetera et cetera. But we never seem to question the logic of these females (or in some cases, males because they do it too.) What makes it okay to direct your ill feelings about the situation toward the only person in the situation who has no ties and no responsibilities toward anyone except themselves? Why isn't the cheater being held accountable for their actions?

Think about it: Persons A and B are married. Person B steps outside of their marriage and sleeps with Person C (who is unaware of the fact that Person B is married), starting an affair. Person A discovers this and gets angry. Does Person A (i) confront Person B, who they are married to, or (ii) confront Person C, the outsider who has no clue of the true nature of their relationship with Person B?

More and more often, the second option is the one chosen by Persons A. Instead of confronting the ACTUAL perpetrator, they go for the co-victim, who they perceive to be the perpetrator. They spread rumors about the person, harass them, call them blocked and play on their phones, slash their tires, show up at their jobs and try to get them fired, put dead animals in their mailboxes, physically assault them... You name it, they do it. And what happens to Persons B all over the world? Person A usually cries/screams/fusses/gives them the silent treatment/ throws them out/ignores them for awhile to make the point that the behavior exhibited is unacceptable, then... Takes. Them. Back. Why??? Why punish the person who is probably feeling almost as hurt as you are instead of punishing the person who caused the madness? It makes no sense to me at all, yet... its the norm rather than the exception these days.

What makes us (humans) vilify the victims & glorify and encourage the perpetrators? Do we love punishment that much that we constantly let people walk all over us all willy-nilly? Why do we allow ourselves to be doormats for people not only to walk on, but to scrape the mud and dog shit off their Timberland boots on, creating rather disgusting smears that we loathe yet embrace? And then we complain when it happens again, even though we knew from the time we saw the boot coming the first time that it would happen again and again if we allowed it.

Please someone explain this to me, because I don't get it.

-Breathe easy-